Welcome to my tenth blog post! Last week I posted about being busy, and life has continued that way - so much so that I can’t believe it’s been a week already.
But a lot has happened. We had our first (invitational) cross-country race last Friday. I didn’t run my best, and certainly didn’t feel my best, but I placed well (top ten) and that felt great. My body certainly wasn’t happy with me afterwards - I went home and then to bed almost straight away.
I slept thirteen solid hours, which was amazing, but certainly also a wakeup call and a warning sign about pushing my body past it’s limits. And the weekend only got more exciting…
I’ve heard that you should always assume that your friends and family will one day find and read your blog, so keeping that in mind, I’m going to try and be circumspect yet honest.
One of my closest friends came over on Saturday night to work on a useless French project about art history. Totally normal, except that after an hour no work had been accomplished, and we were making out. I’d been in love with this boy for a long time - it would have been nice for it just to be easy once he was also interested in me.
But it was only about two and a half weeks ago that my best friend broke up with him. That she was dating him stopped me from making any sort of move for the two years they were together, and it had kept me away from him since. I mean, he was single, but would she be okay with it? Would everyone think it was weird as hell? Was it even possible he could really like me so soon?
I talked to my best friend later that night, anxious to reassure myself that she wouldn’t object. That was fine, but the other worries - mainly the ‘is this for real?’ worry - wouldn’t die so easily.
It’s been two days now, and I’m still not sure how this will all work out. He knows me so well (we dated for all of middle school, and he’s been a close friend since), and the way he makes me feel - I never want to give that up. But at the same time, I still need to hear from him that I’m more than a replacement for her.
In the meantime, I’ll enjoy myself with a certain caution. No matter what happens, out of all of this has come some absolutely fantastic and fun gossip time with my best friend. She’s very perceptive, and very understanding, and I feel like no matter what, as long as I’ve got her it’ll all turn out okay.
Wish me luck figuring it all out!